When Mother’s Day hurts

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Happy Mother’s Day carries with it different connotations for some mothers than it does for others. For those with children in heaven–whether they saw the light of day or died in the darkness of the womb–Mother’s Day is a bittersweet celebration.

Same for those mothers with good memories of their little ones who grew into bigger ones who never call nor come.

Or the mothers of prodigals of the faith once delivered. They love you, perhaps they are still around, perhaps not, but they’ve turned their backs on the One whom you love the most.

For Mamas who were abused by their husbands who, in turned, trained their children to dishonor their mother just as he did.

For such mothers, the Hallmark moments simply don’t exist, not today, not any day.

I can understand them all but I’m not the only one.

I’ve got faithful children who love God and, shockingly, love me too. For these children I praise the Lord regularly. I look forward to one day meeting the wee ones I lost in the darkness of my womb. But I also have prodigal and alienated children and children who have dishonored me in word and deed.

I am frequently told by those who don’t know or understand our family situation, how amazing our family home life must be. They just don’t know or understand how much damage the abuse we lived through caused or how, those of us whom are in Christ, ache every day.

But I want you to understand: If you’ve walked these roads, any of them, there are others like us who do understand, who know and care about and can relate to your pain.

Who realize that just because you are a good mama doesn’t mean you will have good children, just like just because one has been a poor mother doesn’t mean she will have bad children.

We also realize that there are forces outside of yourself who have affected your little ones.

A mother’s love is amazing and God-ordained but so is a father’s love. Sometimes you may have failed but sometimes it might have been him. Or it simply may have been God’s sovereignty at play.

God is ultimately sovereign. He is always good, always holy, always right in His ways, in His mercy and in His justice. No matter what our pain, on Mother’s Day or any day, whether your own mother was good or bad or a mixture, as mine was, no matter how your own children turn out, we can trust the One who gave Himself for His elect.

Mother’s Day is a day I dread every single year. My husband insisted on celebrating Father’s Day and we did so in grand style; Mother’s Day was most often forgotten or a reason for him to start an argument. But it’s being redeemed by my godly heirs of the Kingdom and those who still love me. I appreciate their kindness, a kindness I don’t deserve.

Growing up, I always celebrated it for my mother and did so until she died. Mama was a woman beset with emotional problems that led to grave sins against me in the form of accusations and lies, abuses and cruelties, but she was also a mother who, when in her right mind, did more for me than she’ll ever know. I loved her. She taught me to revere God’s Word; no one could ask for more.

So that’s what I will point you to today: no matter what your joy or pain, trust in the Lord’s Word. In it, if you are His, you will find guidance and solace. In it, if you are not His, you will find the Words of life to bring you to repentance and lead you Home. That same Word can lead your children Home, too.

Soli Deo Gloria!


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