Sound resources for our older sons
Proverbs 15: 5, A fool despiseth his father’s instruction: but he that regardeth reproof is prudent.
Are you preparing your older sons to be a godly man who is able to stand for truth no matter what obstacles he faces? As parents, we are required to.
Masculinity is under attack. Yet God calls men to be the leaders of our homes, churches, and in society. The Bible is a patriarchal book. Patriarchal means father-led. Patriarchy honors the Lord and offers protection, guidance, leadership, and provision for women and children. Our sons need to know this. They need to know how to be men. We must begin preparing our youngest sons, the babies, toddles, and little boys to be godly men, but we cannot ignore continuing to teach this truth to our older sons.
The church, our nation, and our homes are desperately in need of men who understand what it means to be a man. Men have long bowed to feminism and given their strength to women by allowing women to cow them, rule over them, shame them into acting like boys rather than men. Many men today are effeminate. This absolutely needs to stop. Men need to repent of being less than men. This is what I want my sons to understand.
Am I such a man?
Real masculinity is therefore substantiated as a man endeavors to become a good worker. In a day when manhood is said to consist in vain machismo, or violence, or soft effeminacy, we need to anchor ourselves to this bedrock “Creation Ordinance” and be confident that our manhood will be validated as we labor with a good, image-bearing work ethic. We must cultivate the personal habits of self-discipline, thoroughness, perseverance and financial prudence. We must mortify laziness, and disorganization. The single man should realize that prospective wife will appreciate his ability to provide for her far more than his muscles and hairstyle. The single Christian man should give himself to the priorities God set for Adam while he was yet single. The single Christian man needs to establish himself in a viable vocation. So too that married man, who gives his family a sense of protection and provision, is far more respected than a man whose incompetence as a worker renders his family vulnerable to financial insecurity.
Here, gentlemen, is where the challenge of our manhood lies. Here is the profile of godly manhood: a man who can diligently labor and provide for his home; a man who understands life as defined by the Word of God and who can communicate God’s truth in love; a man whose leadership engenders confidence and security to those over whom he has responsibility. Such are the men our families desperately need. Such are the men our churches desperately need. Such are the men our society desperately needs. Such are the men who glorify God. We may well ask ourselves, “Am I such a man?” Pastor Alan J. Dunn
Men without chests
“We make men without chests and expect from them virtue and enterprise. We laugh at honor and are shocked to find traitors in our midst. In a sort of ghastly simplicity we remove the organ and demand the function. We make men without chests and expect of them virtue and enterprise. We laugh at honour and are shocked to find traitors in our midst. We castrate and bid the geldings be fruitful.”~ C. S. Lewis
Don’t act like women
Paul encouraged the Corinthian church, “Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.” (1 Cor. 16:13) Paul is in essence saying, “Don’t act like women!” He is saying; Be watchful, like men! Stand firm in the faith, like men! Be strong, like men! Act like men! This is a message Satan and the world doesn’t want us to hear. It is countercultural. ~Rich Tuttle
All of Christ, for All of Life (Canon Press)
Alpha and Omega Ministries (Dr. James White)
Apologia Radio (Jeff Durbin)
Conversations That Matter (Jon Harris)
The Dividing Line (Dr. James White; links on this page)
Grace to You Podcast (Dr. John MacArthur)
Hard Men Podcast (Eric Conn)
It’s Good to be a Man (Michael Foster, Dominic Bnonn Tennant; audio links plus posts)
Just Thinking Ministries (Darrell B. Harrison, Virgil Walker)
Out of the Question Podcast (Chalcedon Foundation)
The Plodcast (Douglas Wilson)
Renewing your mind with R.C. Sproul
SOCIETY OF REFORMED PODCASTERS
The Sword & The Trowel (Founders)
Truth Be Known with Nathaniel Jolly
“I am very doubtful whether history shows us one example of a man who, having stepped outside traditional morality and attained power, has used that power benevolently.” ~ C.S. Lewis
“What a man is not, Biblical Manhood” Paul Washer (series)
A Young Man’s Attitude Towards Women by Paul Washer
Biblical Manhood – Voddie Baucham
Genesis, Foundations, & Culture: Ken Ham
Dr. John MacArthur – Masculinity
A Country Full of Weak Men | John MacArthur | The Need for Godly Men
God’s High Calling for Women – John MacArthur
Reconstructing Extended Family by Matt Trewhella
Articles for older sons
Rebuilding the social grammar of masculinity
A primer on patriarchalism versus complementarianism
A living faith produces masculine piety
5 types of incomplete masculinity
Androgyny is literally paganism
A primer on how to lead your wife, part 1: leading means following
A primer on how to lead your wife, part 2: leading requires following
A primer on how to lead your wife, part 3: leading means calling
Masculinity isn’t toxic
“God has called men to defend His truth in the world and to live out its precepts. Yet, a look at the average evangelical Christian home will reveal that it too has been feminized to a large degree. Radical, Christ-hating feminist have transformed our homes, and Christian men have hardly objected to this or contested for the holy ground of a biblically patterned family. Furthermore, Christian husbands and fathers have also shown cowardice in their failure to lead and take up the responsibilities that God has given to them. They have been more than willing to shuck the full burden of leading and providing for their families; they have been more than to happy to share (or unload) these burdens with (or on) their wife. The family has been feminized because Christian men retreated from their duty.” ~William Einwechter
No woman wants soft men they can manipulate how they want. They want kind, but mature men. ~Thomas Bjerkholt
It’s a part of the very most important aspect of a man’s identity to take care of women and children. ~Fredrik Skagen
A godly man must be:
- Above reproach: blameless, not able to be accused, having a good reputation.
- The husband of one wife: a pattern of singular affection for one’s wife.
- Sober-minded: temperate, alert, clear-headed, watchful.
- Self-controlled: in control of thinking, emotions and passions; prudent, thoughtful, decent.
- Respectable: orderly in time, responsibilities, and behavior; not chaotic.
- Hospitable: welcoming to others, loves strangers, serves others.
- Gentle: considerate, gracious, patient, kind in dealing with others.
- He must manage his own household well: governs, presides over, has authority over; is faithful to lead spiritually, cares for, protects; has children who are not riotous or insubordinate; oversees and/or fulfills affairs of the home.
- A lover of good: loves virtue and good men.
- Upright: just; upholds righteousness.
- Holy: pure, devout.
- Disciplined: persevering, steadfast, restrained.
- Holding firm to the Word: learns and upholds sound doctrine; holds to it tightly; able to exhort and convict
In contrast, a godly man must not be:
- A drunkard: not addicted to strong drink.
- Violent: violent, quickly angered, explosively angry.
- Quarrelsome: contentious, argumentative.
- A lover of money: covetous, greedy for money, materialistic.
- Arrogant (self-willed) rather than a steward: pushing his own ideas, desires, goals or gain.
- Quick tempered: inclined to anger habitually; quickly angry. ~Stuart W. Scott
Books for our older sons
The mature man, who is he? He is responsible. He takes responsibility for his own life and that of others. The mature man is responsible and grown up, in contrast to the one who is irresponsible and childish. He takes personal and moral responsibility – in his home, at his work-place, in the church and in society. ~Thomas Bjerkholt
If you get the men right, it’s much easier to get the women and children right. Here’s some of my favorite resources for my older sons. Soli Deo Gloria!
Masculine Christianity by Zachary M. Garris
Thoughts for Young Men by J.C. Ryle (read free online, or you can order it)
It’s Good to Be a Man: A Handbook for Godly Masculinity by Michael Foster & Dominic Bnonn Tennant
Man of the House: A Handbook for Building a Shelter That Will Last in a World That Is Falling Apart by C. R. Wiley
The Household and the War for the Cosmos: Recovering a Christian Vision for the Family by C.R. Wiley
In the House of Tom Bombadil by C.R. Wiley
The Christian Family by Herman Bavinck
Addresses to Young Men by John Angell James
The Christian Father’s Present to His Children by John Angell James
Counsels Addressed to Members of Christian Families, Vol. 2 by John Angell James
Twelve Ordinary Men: How the Master Shaped His Disciples for Greatness, and What He Wants to Do with You by John MacArthur
Brave Dad: Raising Your Kids to Love and Follow God by John MacArthur
The Christlike Husband (Chapel Library) by William Gouge
Building a Godly Home: A Holy Vision for Family Life by William Gouge
Building a Godly Home, Volume 2: A Holy Vision for a Happy Marriage by William Gouge
Building a Godly Home, Volume 3: A Holy Vision for Raising Children by William Gouge
Family Reformation Promoted, and Other Works by Daniel Cawdrey
Fatherhood (Chapel Library)
A Husband’s Love (Chapel Library)
The Duties of Husbands and Wives (Chapel Library) by Richard Steele
A Theology of the Family by Scott T. Brown, Jeff Pollard, et al
The Godly Man’s Picture by Thomas Watson
The Enemy Within: Straight Talk about the Power and Defeat of Sin
by Kris Lundgaard
Federal Husband by Douglas Wilson
Sexual Fidelity: No Compromise by Mike Abendroth
A Guide to Biblical Manhood by Randy Stinson
The Mark of a Man: Following Christ’s Example of Masculinity by Elisabeth Elliot
The Exemplary Husband: A Biblical Perspective by Stuart Scott
The Doctrine of the Lesser Magistrates: A Proper Resistance to Tyranny and a Repudiation of Unlimited Obedience to Civil Government by Matthew J. Trewhella
Durable Trades: Family-Centered Economies That Have Stood the Test of Time by Rory Groves and Allan C. Carlson
The Confessional County: Realizing the Kingdom through Local Christendom by Raymond L Simmons
The Mission of God: A Manifesto of Hope for Society by Joseph Boot
When Fathers Ruled: Family Life in Reformation Europe (Studies in Cultural History) by Steven Ozment
Places to purchase sound resources for your older sons
These and other Christ-centered resources can be purchased from:
Chapel Library, Ligonier, Monergrism, Banner of truth, Reformation Heritage Books, Cannon Press, Amazon
Some books are linked to my Amazon account; if you purchase through the links, I will receive a small commission at no extra cost to you. Soli Deo Gloria!
Photo by Ben White on UnsplashEditResources to train older sons