Sometimes, in the midst of trials, God sends unexpected blessings

A week ago, my family was sick, my old $20 freezer had died and my *new* donated freezer was unfreezing unexpectedly and staying defrosted causing me to lose food, my washer died, three doors had slammed unexpectedly in my face, and I had bills I couldn’t conceive of being able to pay.

And that was scratching the surface of our difficulties.

Sometimes, in the midst of trials, God sends unexpected blessings.

A man from our church bought us a washing machine. Not an old 2nd hand one but a brand spanking new one from Home Depot. A really good one. A cute one.

A really, really cute one. I love it. Sort of retro looking. Shiny. And big. Really, really big. With all these amazing dials.

I see folks online talking about “should I get this one or that one?” and trying to decide what just what it was they wanted in an appliance. And I’m always genuinely happy that God has blessed them so that this kind of decision is an option for them.

Many times, I have praised God that a friend has been able to chose the exact kind of appliance that they wanted, and that He was providing for them so that they could.

But that wasn’t my life. What I have always wanted when it came to a washer was just something that would keep the clothes clean. Or in a stove, that it heated. And so on. Something second hand, sturdy, that worked.

The same with a car. A couch. Even clothes.

What I *wanted* has never entered into any decision in my life. Ever.

That’s why this is so amazing to me. I honestly am just amazed by how new, how nice, and–yes–how cute this washing machine is. This is a brand new experience for me. And I’m nearly 58.

I’ve never been on a vacation. Never had a choice in clothing, furniture, what kind of house I want to live in, or what kind of car I drive. Nothing. Ever. God has always chosen and I’ve always been blessed by what I had. Whatever I could get.

Whatever God provided.

And I was–and am–happy. I’ve praised God for that 25cent mug or that $1.00 blouse just as much as I have this washer.

I don’t mean to imply otherwise. Struggle has simply been what I live. It’s normal for me. As normal as waking up in the morning.

Recently the Lord has provided me with some very big unexpected blessings. I’m overawed at His goodness.

Someone provided some funds that have helped pay some bills. I’ve gotten a delivery of tea, a gift of books, and one of a big pack of tooth brushes, tooth paste, and pens. Wonderful amazing gifts and such a blessing every single one.

On top of all of that, my freezer is for the moment actually freezing (happy dance because, though I don’t have much food out there, I do have some and I lost much needed ground beef, vegetables, and more–and I really, really can’t afford to lose what I have left) and though yesterday was a very bad day for me physically, today I actually feel a little bit better.

Oh, and our garden is starting to produce.

I’m blessed.

Now don’t get me wrong. I don’t normally get deliveries of gifts. I normally struggle every single day of my life just to balance everything (and this no matter how hard my children and I have tried, worked, and struggled to get our feet under us–the rug just keeps getting yanked out from under us).

I’m used to doing without. I don’t get choices. And that’s okay. That’s normal to me.

My furniture, clothing, and everything else that can be second hand is second hand–and that means take whatever is cheapest and workable, not that I go look for the fancy whatever. If there’s something $10 and another $5, the $5 wins. If a piece of furniture is $250 and another is $25, the $25 wins. This is by necessity. Choice isn’t an option. Survival is.

Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without is the mentality I was raised with and I’m used to it. It’s been a necessity in my life, all my life, due to the failure of the men–my father and my husband–in my family to provide for us and the fact that though my son has tried and has stepped in to be the representative head–the mountain we faced has just been so high, so craggy, and so never ending. And we have no other help except when the Lord chooses to send some unexpectedly.

My son has been injured on the job multiple times. We’ve lost so much over this past year and some odd. We keep having losses and setbacks every single time we have made any progress whatsoever.

It’s. Just. Been. So. Hard.

Most times, it still is.

But in the hardest of hard times, God is just as good to me as He is today when, wonders of wonders, and praise the Lord, things are a bit better. Even if some of it is just temporary.

The financial struggle, though under control today, remains and will until my son’s surgery is done, he’s recovered, and he’s figured out the next step job wise. Even then we still face an uphill climb. He wants to marry. My daughter wants to marry. (Ladies? Gents? These are two really great catches.) More starting over. More decisions. Just more.

My son wants to finish his studies so he can preach. He missed out on an internship because, things being as they were, he saw no way to take it. He’s got decisions. Prayers. Trials and more difficulties ahead.

In the here and now, my children and I are still facing many a mountain before us and some–like the way my estranged husband and his family treat (and mistreat) us–make up the constant never ending background music for all the other struggles.

Some who haven’t bothered to actually try to look at the big picture and understand have accused us of not trying, of lying about circumstances. Even the internship that my son gave up in order to biblically provide for us (something that without him, we couldn’t fully do), he was chided by some for passing up. Scolded even. We’ve been told that, if we didn’t keep on sinning, failing, dishonoring God, these things wouldn’t keep on happening.

Job’s friends, not that I’m comparing myself to Job himself, had nothing on some of the folks who’ve offered us helpful advice. Or non-advice. Or accusations. Or made promises they had no intention of keeping.

But everyone has someone like them. Makes you recognize your real friends. It really does.

And to be honest, some of my friends–online friends, an old high school friend, and a few others here and there through the years– have never ceased to amaze me with how good they’ve been to us.

But, even then, as they act, or pray, or serve, it’s God. It’s always God. And it’s God whom we’re continuing to trust and seek to honor as we strive to obey Him. God to whom we pray as we seek to understand what it is He would have us do. How we can bring Him glory.

We want out of Montgomery–an increasingly dangerous city with panhandlers on every corner, nastiness everywhere, people approaching homes all hours of the day and night, break-ins (my family has had attempted break-in’s twice in the past year), vagrants in the woods, druggies, carjackings, gunshots continuously reported in much of the city, crazy (crazy) bad drivers, racing at the mall behind our home, people sleeping in the woods directly behind us, and more. It’s unnerving. And scary.

We are praying to be able to figure out where to move and how. How to afford it–with our present lack of financial resources? And where? Tristan’s job? My health? So much but God knows. I don’t. All of that is truly on Him. We do or don’t move as He provides a place and a way (and especially a church–anybody that knows of a sound patriarchal Reformed Baptist church, or, at the least, one headed in that direction–we’re considering one in TN–that’s what we’re looking for; we want a church to build our lives around).

There’s still things we need. Supplements that might help me to gain some strength and perhaps have the reserve to fight the infections I’m so prone to. A non-saggy, non-springs popped couch not propped up by pillows to allow you to sit. And to figure out what to do about a donated 1970’s era bi-polar freezer (LOL).

But those are battles for another day. Those battles that are–for today–on the backburner.

And…well…it doesn’t matter. It really doesn’t. You know why?

Because God is good always and in all ways, no matter what our circumstances? You want proof?

Jesus.

For God so loved. He gave Jesus. For His own elect.

And not a one will be lost.

So never going on a vacation, not having nice “things”, learning to make do and do without and doing it again and again–really, does any of that matter in the grand scheme of things? We’re blessed in so many ways. Vacations are a modern man’s dream, having an abundance is also a modern day problem that only part of the world–even now–knows, and so on.

God is so good, sisters. I say this as one who grew up in abuse, married an abuser, who lost babies to miscarriage, who has been lied about and betrayed and even abandoned by those whom I would have staked my life on never treating me in such a way, with lifelong health issues (which have nearly claimed my life on numerous occasions), to whom poverty is a near constant life long companion, and more. So much more.

God is good because He is, not because He does. And He uses our trials in our sanctification. So, ultimately, our trials, no matter how painful, are for our good.

And so are the unexpected blessings He sometimes chooses to send.

Soli Deo Gloria!

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

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