Do you know that the Lord had specific duties in mind for men as well as for women when He created Adam and Eve? The Lord created women to be a man’s helper. This isn’t something God thought up as an afterthought, it isn’t a suggestion; this is the purpose for which He created us and part of our purpose is also to bear children, and manage our households. Since this is God’s design for us, it behooves us to know how to fulfill these duties to the best of our abilities and to His glory.
Even in Christian homes or the soundest churches, rarely are women taught that God had specific duties in mind for women when He created Eve. We are taught that we ought to follow our dreams, that we can do whatever we want to do, whatever makes our hearts happy–the question is, is this biblical?
Jeremiah 17: 9, The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?
John 14: 15, If you love me, you will keep my commandments.
The heart want what the heart wants. Have you ever heard that? Have you believed it? It’s taught to us through music, books, movies, the media and even by many of our parents. The heart wants what the heart wants sounds good to those who are worldly and often even to those who are regenerate but haven’t yet been taught how to properly discern truth and honor the Lord by obeying His Word. Our hearts, according to Scripture, are deceptively wicked and will lead us astray. When we follow our hearts rather than God’s Word, we are sinning and are headed for disaster. God’s Word is our authority in all areas of life. When we forget this, we are headed down the wrong path.
Luke 6: 46, “Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do what I tell you?
The world, culture, our family and friends, and even many churches tell young women that they can do anything they want to do with their lives. Where once mothers and grandmothers taught young ladies how to prepare to care for and love a family, now they are taught that such ideals are old-fashioned and don’t fit in with our more modern and progressive ways. Instead of being taught how to respect a husband and to care for children and a house, girls are now taught to follow their dreams wherever they might lead them. We tell them that God just wants them to be happy. They are taught that marriage and family are but one goal in a world full of goals and it’s up to them to choose what will make them happy. Following this pathway leads to sorrow because it is the anthesis of what God designed women to do. He didn’t design us to follow man’s ways but His. How often do we hear otherwise?
Both men and women ought to put the pursuit of, and preparation for, family above the pursuit of worldly success. While men must plan to be able to provide for a family, they should never put such a pursuit above their purpose as a husband and father. To do so ensures failure in their God-given duties. Just as this is true, it is also true that women must put the pursuit of the preparation to be a wife and a mother ahead of worldly goals and desires.
Titus 2: 4-5, 4 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.
The Lord’s Word is clear as to the duties and purposes of women. Scripture, from beginning to end, points to the importance of the woman’s purpose as a wife, mother, and homemaker. Not once does Scripture suggest that her purpose is to lead the family, provide for the family, or lead in the church or society. Yet, because we have put worldly purposes ahead of God’s purpose, that’s where our argument, even in the church, comes down today: God says a woman can do whatever she wants to do–which is unbiblical–rather teach the truth that God designed a woman to fulfill certain duties. Owen Strachan has a good article on Biblical Support For Women as Homemakers
Genesis 2: 18, Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”
Proverbs 14: 1, The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down.
1 Timothy 5:14, So I would have younger widows marry, bear children, manage their households, and give the adversary no occasion for slander.
God didn’t tell young women to prepare to be wives if their lives are perfect…if they have the perfect family…if they have free time…if they have they desire to be a wife…if they have time after fulfilling all their other plans and goals. He didn’t ask us to prepare to be a wife, mother, and homemaker if it was our dream. Or if we thought we had enough time, knowledge, wisdom, talent, or ability to do so. He didn’t ask us if it was convenient for us to seek to obey Him. He didn’t give us a way out. He simply gave us a mandate to learn to love our husbands and our children and care for our homes. We explain the truth of God’s ways away to our own peril and to the destruction of our marriages and children, of our churches, and society. May we, as God’s people, see the truth and repent of embracing falsehoods.
Regarding your last paragraph on there being no way out of being a homemaker, what do unmarried women do? Im in my mid20s, i want to be married and plan to be a SAHW/M, but i have no prospects (nor have I ever); I don’t want to be single and working, but this is just God’s will right now. I live at home but I have to work, both to support myself now and with an eye to supporting myself in the future if singleness is sadly prolonged (i don’t mean that in a ‘build my career way’, just that reality is one day my parents won’t be here, and if I’m still single then…having job skills/savings will be important). I practice cooking, sewing, housework, etc, but I have to do it in my spare time. I feel like im in sin because I have to work can’t be a homemaker or preparing for it 24/7 :/
You are not in sin but are doing what you must do at this time. Our modern life has led to the destruction of men and women who are prepared–spiritually, emotionally, financially, etc.–for marriage. This makes it much harder to find a godly woman/godly man when one is ready for marriage. My 22 year old daughter lives at home, teaches ESL online, runs an Etsy shop, is learning Korean, and working on her homemaking skills. She’s ready but no one is there so she fills her time productively. My 32 year old son is preparing to be a pastor. Multiple women have told him they “just want to be friends” and it’s been very disheartening to him. In the meantime, he’s doing what he can to continue to prepare to be a husband and father one day while continuing life without a wife and no prospects of one. I mention this because it’s both men and women in this position. Not being able to find a husband or wife isn’t the same thing as willingly choosing to eschew marriage and family. God’s design stands but our modern times make following it much harder. It’s sad that you and my son couldn’t meet. Praying for you. Soli Deo Gloria!